Help your clients find the part of the message that actually needs them.
Message Decoder is a short, practical guide that teaches co-parents the skill to separate a difficult message into its parts and decide what each part needs, including nothing, before they reply.
For mediators, parenting coordinators, family lawyers, counsellors and other professionals who support co-parents.We offer a professional licence to use The Message Decoder with the people you work with. You get the complete guide, plus everything you need to teach the method in a session:- Using the guide with clients: when the method helps, and when to screen first- A step-by-step session plan (30 minutes): Pause, Decode, Decide, Respond, with timings- Facilitation prompts: questions to ask at each step, and answers to common pushback- Photocopiable client pages: Break the message apart, the record sheet and the 60-second Decoder, ready to print and share with your clients
The problem you already see
Your clients bring you the messages. Long ones, sent late at night, mixing a real question with criticism, old history and a deadline that may or may not be real.When everything in a message feels equally urgent, people reply to all of it. The reply restarts the argument, and the next session is spent on the fallout.Most methods teach clients how to write a calmer reply. The Decoder teaches the step before that: working out which parts of the message need anything at all.
How it works
See a message decoded
What it is, and what it isn't
About and contact
Why this exists
I built the Decoder after years of reading co-parenting messages that made everything feel urgent and overwhelming at once. What helped wasn't a better reply. It was learning to see which parts of a message needed me, and which didn't.The Clear Part turns that into a method anyone can use. I'm not a therapist or a lawyer, and the Decoder isn't meant to replace either. It's meant to make the work you already do with clients a little easier.Questions, feedback or a practice license: [email protected]
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Another long message? Find the part that actually needs you.
The Message Decoder is a short, practical guide that teaches you to separate a difficult message into its parts and decide what each part needs from you, including nothing, before you reply.
The moment it's for
It arrives late at night. A real question is buried inside criticism, something from months ago, and a deadline you didn't agree to.
When everything in a message feels equally urgent, it's natural to answer all of it. Then the reply starts the next round, and the evening is gone.
The Decoder teaches the step before you write anything: working out which parts of the message actually need you. Often it's one part. Sometimes it's none.
A difficult message can make everything feel equally important. It usually isn't.
